Please Don’t Leave Your Brains At Home

Ok after a while the things that passengers say can start to get a little annoying. I am always very polite and answer questions as thoroughly as I can, but I do need a place to vent. Here it is:

“How come Holland America stopped giving umbrellas to passengers? They used to be complimentary, that’s what you pay for when you go on a cruise.” (First of all, that’s a mighty expensive umbrella if that’s what you’re paying for. Secondly, I don’t know, I’m just the photographer! Ask someone who knows!)

Man at the entrance of the duty free shop: “Where’s the duty free shop?”

Man standing right in front of a bunch of tour guides holding signs: “Where do the tours meet?” (This wouldn’t be so bad if he was asking the tour guides just to clarify, but he was asking me, the photographer!!)

Man on the ship: “Where’s the office?” (I’m thinking, which office? Maybe you could specify??)

“I remember when the photos were $5!” (Oh yeah…and gas was 50 cents. Times change people!)

After spending 10 seconds looking for their photographs on the walls they throw up their hands and exclaim that they can’t find their photos and that they simply aren’t there. I take 15 more seconds and find them. Maybe try opening your eyes??

People don’t want their photographs taken because:

“I’m part of the witness protection plan.”
“I’m wanted by the FBI.”
“I’m CIA, no photos.” (You wouldn’t be saying that if you were, stupid)
“My photo is already in the post office.”
“Don’t take my photo, I don’t want my wife to find out.”
“I’ll break your camera.”
“Oh, we’re late!” (As they stop and wait for the tour)
“Oh, I’ll get ya on the way back.” (No you won’t)
“I have my own camera.” (Your own camera takes a photo of you?)
“I’m a professional photographer so you can’t take my photo.”
“I’m too old.”
“Does your camera have a filter to make me look skinny?” (No, but you could eat less)
“I would have let you take my photo, but you’re using Nikon!” (Ummm…so?)
“Oh, I see you have a Nikon, great camera!” (Again…so? It’s kinda about the photographer not the camera!)
“Go away…” (Excuse me? I just nicely said good morning to you and offered to take your photo…you freaking go away!)

Posted on in Caribbean 2010-2011, Cruise Life 8 Comments

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